I’ve recently been through a difficult stretch of life. It started with living apart from my wife and children in different countries. Eventually, I moved to be with them, only for my 18-year marriage to break down earlier this year. Not long after that, I entered a new relationship that ended suddenly after a few months, even though things seemed to be going well.
This is the first time I’ve reached out for help, and I know I should have done it sooner. Lately I’ve been struggling with loneliness, uselessness, and fear around asking for support.
A bit more about my situation: I’m new to my current location, and most of the people I know are work colleagues who are younger and at a different stage of life. I have my children half the time, so that limits how much I can get out socially. I’m also not really the party type. The school parents know my ex better because she has been part of the community longer.
The recent breakup seems to have brought a lot of older pain to the surface. I think I may not have processed the end of my marriage properly, and living away from familiar support has made things harder. On top of that, I’m worried about work, adjusting to a new location, and the way I’ve started to see myself. After work, I often stay at home, overthink everything, and talk myself into conclusions that may not even be true. My mood changes a lot depending on what is happening around me.
I used to manage by running when I lived away, but that no longer seems enough. I do spend time with people, but it often happens early in the weekend, which leaves me alone for the rest of it. I know I’m generally liked, but I still hold back from suggesting plans because I’m afraid of rejection.
I’m sorry for the emotional overload here, but it has been a tearful day and I’ve reached the point where I know I need support. I can’t keep carrying all of this alone.
I don’t want to be isolated. Even if I don’t feel strong right now, I know I need to become more steady for my two children. I want to break out of this pattern and start building new connections.
What to do next
When life has piled up this much loss, uncertainty, and isolation, the best next step is usually not to force yourself to feel better overnight. It is to make the situation smaller and more manageable. That often starts with three things: talking to someone you trust, creating a routine that gets you out of the house regularly, and rebuilding a social life in ways that fit your actual schedule as a parent.
If you want structured help thinking through your relationship expectations, readiness, and what you need next, you may also find the Relationship Readiness Test useful.
If you are looking for dating-specific support, the First Message & Reply Generator can help you draft clearer outreach, and the Scam & Red Flag Checker can help you think through warning signs before you invest more energy.
Most importantly, if your low mood, hopelessness, or sense of being overwhelmed keeps getting worse, please reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted local support service. You do not have to handle this on your own.
