Hi, I’m Tony. I recently moved to Los Angeles because I wanted a fresh start, but the move has been harder than I expected. I’ve only been here a few months, and the long hours at work leave me drained. By the time I get home, I have no energy left to build a social life.
At night, the loneliness hits hardest. I lie awake feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and stuck. I’ve even had thoughts about ending my life, which scares me. My mood is also starting to affect my work, and I’m worried about losing my job.
I’m asking for help because I don’t know how long I can keep carrying this by myself.
Reply From Thornton
Hi Tony,
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you described sounds serious, and I want to say this clearly: if you feel like you might act on thoughts of harming yourself, call emergency services now or go to the nearest emergency room. If you’re in the U.S. or Canada, you can call or text 988 for immediate support from the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re elsewhere, contact your local crisis line right away.
Because this feels urgent, don’t wait until you “feel better” to reach out. Tell one real person today what’s going on — a family member, friend, coworker, neighbor, pastor, or doctor. If speaking feels hard, send a short text like: “I’m not doing well and I need you to check in on me today.”
It also makes sense to book an appointment with a doctor or mental health professional as soon as possible. Depression can get worse when you’re exhausted, isolated, and trying to push through everything alone. A professional can help you figure out whether you need counseling, medication, sleep support, or a combination of approaches.
In the meantime, try to reduce the pressure on yourself. You do not need to solve your whole life this week. Focus on small, concrete steps:
- Get through today safely.
- Eat something, drink water, and sleep at a regular time if you can.
- Step outside for a short walk, even 10 minutes.
- Reach out to one person instead of isolating.
- Break your evenings into smaller routines so the night feels less empty.
It may also help to build connection in low-pressure ways. You do not need to force big social plans if you are already exhausted. A class, a small group, a gym session, volunteering, or a neighborhood meet-up can be enough to start rebuilding contact with other people.
If you want structure for dating later on, Asian Sweet Hearts explains a different approach: you are promoted first, women who are interested express interest, and then you choose who you want to contact. If you decide to learn more, you can read How It Works or review the FAQs.
But right now, the priority is your safety and mental health. Please contact a professional or crisis service today, and let someone close to you know what’s going on. You do not have to handle this alone.
Best,
Thornton
